Over the past year I have received approximately 5,329 virus alerts. Each
alert was forwarded by a well-meaning person. Each alert contained the
same elements as the one you so well-meaningly passed on: a long list of
headers, an unmistakable trace of AOL in its DNA, a description of
improbable consequences, and an urgent plea to forward it to "EVERYONE YOU
KNOW!!!!!" Oh, almost forgot . . . each alert, without exception, has
proven to be a hoax (there are many internet sites set up to debunk hoax
virus alerts; no doubt many members of this list will point you toward them).
My purpose in writing is to let you know that of the 5,329 well-meaning
people who forwarded these alerts, medical research has shown that at least
two-thirds were victims of VBI (Viral Brain Infection), more commonly
called "Gullibility Syndrome." The predominant symptom of VBI is inability
to apply critical thought. Sufferers typically present by forwarding virus
alerts, but soon progress to Nieman-Marcus cookie recipes and "good luck"
chain letters. In its terminal stages, sufferers cross-post inappropriate
political statements, jokes, and large cartoon bitmap files to professional
discussion lists. Judgement is largely absent, as is shame. All in all,
it is not a pretty disease, and I sincerely hope you have not contracted it.
But I don't mean to be gloomy. You may not be suffering from VBI at all -
you may merely have had a weak moment. And even if you *have* contracted
VBI, take heart - many VBI victims have found fulfilling careers in
multilevel e-mail marketing!
Regards,
Paul Woodford
p.s. OPEN: VERY COOL! :) Gotcha!
At 07:27 PM 12/9/98 +0200, you wrote:
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<headers omitted>
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>>>Subject: Virus
>>>>This is VERY, VERY SERIOUS!! Please forward it to everyone you
know..they will be grateful
>>>> Important There is a virus out now being sent to people via email...it
is called the
>>>>A.I.D.S. VIRUS. It will destroy your memory, sound card and speakers,
drive and it will infect your mouse or pointing device..as well as your
keyboards (possibly motherboards) making what you type not able to register on
>>>the screen. It self terminates only after it eats 5MB of hard drive
space & will delete all programs.
>>>> It will come via E-mail called "OPEN: VERY COOL! :) ".
>>>>
>>>> DELETE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! immediately!! It will basically render
>>your
>>>>computer useless. Please pass this on to everyone you know!
>>>>
>>>> PASS IT ON QUICKLY & TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE!! THANKS!! IF YOU
>>>HAVE
>>>>A
>>>>PROBLEM, CONTACT AOL.
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