With the Ninth International Symposium on Aviation Psychology starting
Sunday, I thought the following would be appropriate. I got it from
another mailing list to which I belong. A few words are specific to the
social science group for which it was originally written, but the concepts
certainly apply to our varied group. Enjoy! I'll be looking for your name
tags at Colombus! :-)
Neil
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o Never pass up an opportunity to go out with a group to eat,
especially in favor of a gathering with "more important people"
that may or may not occur.
o Don't let yourself get cynical about schmoozing. This IS what
the meeting is about and that's not a bad thing. It is quite common
for newbies and beginners to feel left out because they don't know
too many people. A common response to this feeling is to express
disdain for how "it's all just a big reunion of people who don't care
whether a nobody like me lives or dies." That's true. The secret,
though, is to know that that IS all thatit is and the only reason you
feel that way is because you don't know too many people yet. Give
yourself some time. Quickly slipping into the defensive wall-
flower frame of mind is a sure recipe for prolonging the period in
which you feel like you don't know anybody.
o Related to this, don't get too turned off by nametag gazing. It is
what people do at these things. Yes, people will check yours out,
discover that you are nobody and then move on. Some of the folks
doing this are real ass-kissing idiots who are just looking for famous
people to kiss up to. Don't sweat it. Don't let the turkeys get you
down.
Think about this sociologically. You have a gathering of several
thousand people from one profession. Most of them work in middle of
nowhere places with two colleagues, one of whom they loathe. They spend
all year teaching the writings of other people (some of whom are their
heroes) to 19 year olds. Some of those heroes are walking around the
hotel. Of course they're looking at the name tags.
Alternatively, here you have a gathering of several thousand people in
the same profession. Profession and job is one of the most common
categories for sorting the people in one's world. If everyone around
you is in the same profession, you need some other status markers to
help you order the crowd. Look at the nametags.
o Remember that it's OK to engage people in serious conversations about
what they do, what they think about, etc. This may be the only time
all year where you don't have to explain what sociology is or that it
is NOT the same as social work to the person who says "oh, my brother
is a social worker."
o Don't worry about money -- that's what plastic is for. In the
end, you are going to spend more than you intended; no use
wasting emotional energy fretting about it
o Stay in the main conference hotel whenever possible. The idea of
staying with a friend who lives just twenty minutes outside of town
is almost always a bad one.
o Recognize and celebrate the fact that the most important and enjoyable
part of the annual meeting is the stuff that occurs OUTSIDE of the
sessions.
o After you've heard your fourth or fifth poorly presented paper on poorly
thought-out research, remind yourself that the speaker teaches for a
living and wonder how someone who talks in front of groups 4 to 8 times
a week can fail to have ever gotten good at it.
o Upon checking in, locate the health club or fitness center in your hotel
and see what their hours are. Then look around to see if they have a
decent breakfast buffet in one of the restaurants. Next, scan through
the index of the program to see if there is anyone you absolutely don't
want to miss a talk by. Draw a little time chart and note where these
talks are and when. If you're not doing anything else, you can try
to catch them. After this, make a list of all the people you
want to say hello to, have a meal with or meet. This roster is your
main task list for the meeting.
o Remember that everyone else is feeling like they don't know anyone too.
o Always remember the first law of socializing: act like a host. This
means taking the initiative and introducing yourself to others. It
means keeping in mind the people you know and have met so that when
you meet someone new, even if your interests are a million miles apart,
you can always say "Have you met so and so? You should. I'll introduce
you when I see you together." And then, when you do, they'll possibly
be grateful for the intro, but definitely remember the service. All
of this is based loosely on good network theory: weak ties are all --
be one whenever you can.
o If you have the opportunity to introduce someone big and someone small,
do it by asking the big person if they've met the small one, not vice
versa. It's a wonderfully pleasant way to go against the standard
status inequalities.
o Be as socially generous as possible. It almost never "costs" anything
to invite someone along, bring them into a conversation, introduce them
to a colleague, connect them to someone of common interests, etc. and
these things (a) are always remembered, and (b) go around and come
around.
o Buy some books.
o If you're giving a talk, just tell us what you did, why you thought it
was interesting and what we should remember about what you found out or
showed. The point of the talk is to help me decide whether I might
want to read your work or not.
o If you are giving a talk, do not read your paper. Do not fight with
the organizer over time. Do not be convinced that the audience will
be enthralled if only you can get this one last point in. Do not edit
out whole sections on the fly as you notice time running out. If you
find yourself falling in love with your own prose, exercise caution.
All of these things will serve only to make you look inept,
unprofessional, immature and uninteresting.
o Don't join your nutso colleagues in the mad rush to grab books at a
discount as the book exhibits close. The behavior of some folks at
this moment is truly embarrassing -- best not to join them.
o Remember, you are going to spend a few days with 3 or 4 thousand people
who are, perhaps, better at analyzing the social world than participating
in it. Be kind. We're all in this together.
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Best regards,
Neil Krey
neilkrey_at_why.net
http://users.why.net/neilkrey/